Rix Quinn’s Minute Story: Home confinement


Wow, what a horrible week. I haven’t been this depressed since my old co-worker married my ex-girlfriend, and he started wearing my senior ring. But, even during bad times, we can find things to make us smile — even under home confinement.

My great Aunt Connie – the one who smells like rancid gravy – isn’t coming to live with you. Fortunately, she’s not coming to live with me either, because I will not agree to financially support her pet penguin.

If you get really bored, take a video of yourself flipping a coin over and over.

If you can’t find sports to watch on TV, make up a game of your own. Currently, I am tossing tennis balls into a small trash basket filled with a tiny xylophone. (I like the melodies.)

If you must work at home, set up a conference call with everybody who used to be at the office, and offer attendees a virtual dessert.

My dog is already tired of me staying at the house, and he said we needed separate rooms. So, I put him in the one without TV. And speaking of dogs, dress yours in a little hat and suit coat. Take him for a walk. When neighbors inquire, tell them he’s late for a business meeting.

I have never seen so many people walking in my neighborhood. Three of them looked completely lost.

There has not been a single live dinosaur sighting in over 300 years.

Yesterday, I called ten people who went to my elementary school decades ago. Eight didn’t remember me, and two tried to sell me something.

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Rix Quinn is a former magazine publisher who works as an independent biographer and broadcaster.

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