Rix Quinn’s Minute Story: Spring cleaning

At lunch a few days ago, my friend Tom said he and his wife planned a “spring cleaning” weekend. What a waste of two days! But after I got home, I researched the subject.

Actually, this annual ritual is older than athlete’s foot. Even primitive tree dwellers cleaned their nests each April by sweeping away dead branches, poisonous snakes, and out-of-fashion animal skins.

So, I wrote down a few suggestions to help speed through this horrible chore.

• Wear old clothes, because cleaning can get dirty. (Antique clothes may be defined as “something older than atelegraph.”)
• To energize, play upbeat music. My favorite work songs include “My den is dirty but my mind is clean,” and “The kitchen window’s grimy, and it’s givin’ me a pane.”
• Get rid of clutter, unless Clutter is the name of your gerbil. Remember that old poem: “A clean room leads to joy among us. A dirty room welcomes Mr. Fungus.”
• Prioritize tasks by listing projects. My agenda includes :(a) Discard insect collection currently in sock drawer. (b) Buy shower curtain to match shower cap. (c) Check behind couch cushions for coins, folding money, and unpaid bills.
• Remove musty room smells by opening windows. (I successfully removed a musty personal smell by using a product called “deodorant.”)

Rix Quinn

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Rix Quinn is a former magazine publisher who works as an independent biographer and broadcaster.

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