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Catfish
At a restaurant the other night, I overheard somebody ask his dinner companion, “How do you make a catfish?”
I offered a reply. The answer, of course, is, “Give him a rod and reel.”
But this man wanted to know how to extract bones from the critter. I’ve got no idea. But I did research the beast, and will now reveal more than you wanted to know about the seafood with whiskers.
Answer: “Yes, if you can get them to sit at the table.”
Wild Animals
Many towns now prohibit citizens from housing jungle animals.
So, if you are a wild animal living in a human neighborhood – and if you can read this, you are a brilliant wild animal – listen up! This means:
So what, you ask, is a “wild pet?” For instance, some communities term boa constrictors “wild.” In others, they’re considered “non-poisonous reptiles with a lethal hug,” not unlike a great aunt who used to visit our house each Thanksgiving.
Coyotes, wolves and hyenas are also wild, even though they disguise themselves as loveable, giant-fanged dogs. My neighbor Charlie once owned a wolf, and it ate four parakeets and two of Charlie’s toes before he wised up and sold it to a cousin he never liked.
How about chickens? One community outlawed them, even though few are aggressive, and most are toothless.
They were banned not for aggression, but for crowing. No city person wants to hear anybody mouth-off at dawn, especially a birdbrain.
Bottom line: If you want to view carnivorous animals, visit the zoo. If you want to know why you should never own a wolf, talk to my friend Charlie.
Want Rix to record Minute Stories for your company? For details, e-mail him at [email protected] or call him at 817-920-7999.
Rix Quinn is a former magazine publisher who works as an independent biographer and broadcaster.
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Written by: Rix Quinn
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