Rix Quinn’s Minute Story: House sale

My friend Buddy unloaded his home last week. It’s been on the market so long they put mood lighting on the For Sale sign.

The house was built during the Great Depression, and that’s how visitors describe it. To call it a “dump” gives garbage a bad name.

The yard’s green…but it’s weeds. Buddy says if he can mow it, it can grow there. That may explain what happened to the missing earthworms.

The kitchen needs lots of work. Not many ovens still use logs. This prompted one visitor to ask “Where’s the microwave?”

“Before you ask that,” Buddy advised, “you should ask if we’ve got wall plugs.”

One bright spot is the living room…and the spot comes from a hole it the ceiling, which Buddy calls his “sun roof.”

Buddy added upstairs bedrooms about ten years ago. You can go see them, if you don’t mind the rope ladder.

Buddy says he made three mistakes selling his house:

  1. When showing a home, put the family pets outside, especially if they are wild or rabid.
  2. The seller cannot call a tree house a “spare bedroom,” or a swirling toilet a “sauna.”
  3. Finally, a house should be sold by formal contract, not by asking prospects “How much cash you got?”

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Rix Quinn is a former magazine publisher who works as an independent biographer and broadcaster.